Pete Davidson opens up about his past relationship with singer Ariana Grande during his Netflix stand-up special Pete Davidson: Alive From New York, which debuted Tuesday on the streaming service.
The comedian admitted that he didn’t plan on discussing his whirlwind relationship with the singer until his friend told him that Grande said in an interview that she was unfamiliar with him before their relationship and that she dated him as a “distraction.”
Davidson prefaced the segment by asserting that they are not competing against each other. “She has her songs and stuff and this is what I have,” he said. “You’re like, ‘Pete, this isn’t fair. You’re airing out dirty laundry. How could you do that? Where did she say this stuff? To her friends in the confidence of her own home?'” he said. “No, she said it on the cover of Vogue magazine.”
“Can you imagine if I did that?” continued the comic. “My career would be over tomorrow if I spray painted myself brown and hopped on the cover of Vogue magazine and just started sh*tting on my ex.”
He continued, “Can you imagine if I did that sh*t? Like, ‘Yeah, I was just f*cking her because I was bored and then Fortnite came out.'”
Davidson added that Grande suffered no repercussions for her comments, while he got called “butt-hole eyes from Barstoolsports.com.”
“Sometimes life is a little unfair,” he said, before reiterating that he was just making jokes. “My biggest fear is that I’m gonna get shot in the back of the head by a 9-year-old with a ponytail and the last thing I’m gonna hear is ‘#canceled.'”
Davidson said that he dealt with the breakup by hanging out with his friends, who reassured him that no one knew who Grande was. “Then that song came out and my friends were, like, ‘Bro, I love you. I love you, right? sh*t is catchy,'” he said about “Thank U, Next.” He added that his grandpa said the song is “a slap.”
The comedian has previously addressed his failed engagement to Grande in his stand-up sets. Back in August, Davidson said his “biggest fear is getting killed by a 12-year-old” during his show at The Mirage’s Aces of Comedy in Las Vegas.
He also addressed the split during a comedy show that he co-headlined with Judd Apatow in October 2018. “There’s a lot going on. Anybody have any open rooms? Anybody looking for a roommate?” Davidson said during his set, which was just a few days after his split with Grande was announced.
In his Netflix special, Davidson also addressed his controversial joke targeted at Dan Crenshaw in a 2018 episode of Saturday Night Live.
During a “Weekend Update” segment, Davidson offered his “first impressions” of several candidates for the midterm elections. When discussing Republican candidate Crenshaw, who lost an eye in an IED blast while serving in Afghanistan in 2012, the comedian said he looked like a “hitman in a p*rno movie.”
Davidson said he was forced to apologize after people called his home and threatened to shoot him.
Davidson explained that he came up with the joke when a co-worker suggested he roast the politicians running in the midterm elections. “I was like, ‘Ah, sick. That will buy me another six episodes,'” he said.
“I got this big sheet of paper with a bunch of faces and I just started writing a bunch of jokes,” he explained. “Then this guy Dan Crenshaw pops up, right, and he has an eye patch, right? So already I’m, like, ‘This guy has a sense of humor.'”
Davidson set out to “write a harmless joke,” though he learned right before taping the episode that Crenshaw lost his eye during the war. “So I go out there and I try to be mindful, which is hard because I’m always on mushrooms or stuff like that,” he said. “‘I gotta apologize after the joke,’ I said. Get ahead of it. So I slide out and I do apologize.
“I remember exactly what I said. I will never forget it. I said, ‘Dan Crenshaw. He looks like a hitman in a p*rno, right?’ Got that f*cking mediocre laugh, right?, and then right after I go, ‘I’m sorry, he might have lost his eye in a war or whatever,'” he recalled. “I said ‘whatever’ and people go, ‘You hate America!’ Like, no, I just didn’t want to be incorrect about how he lost his f*cking eye.”
Davidson added that he doesn’t like that people blame him for Crenshaw winning the election. “That’s not true. I think most of the votes were in and that guy is a Republican with an eye patch in Texas,” he said. “In Texas, I’m pretty sure they just have pictures. That’s how they vote.”
“I did not make that guy win,” the comic reiterated. “That’s America’s fault.”
Davidson added that he didn’t do anything to help Crenshaw: “The only thing I did do, which I am guilty of and I apologize for, is I did make that guy famous and a household name for no reason. I did what Ariana Grande did for me.”
